The Discovery Process

Where we lay the ground work for how we will work together and get a general idea of where you want to go.

What's YOUR Agenda?

Early on in a coaching relationship we will go through a Discovery Process where you help me to understand who you are and what you most want out of life. We discuss your priorities and your values, your dreams, aspirations and goals (both short & long term). This allows us both to get a clearer picture of where you want to go and what fulfillment looks like to you. This will become our over all or "Big A" Agenda. That place that we will always hold as the guiding light to where you are heading.

However, on the week to week basis lies the journey and many days this journey can consist of obstacles, situations and issues that crop up and need to be dealt with or explored to help you decide how best to deal with this to move you further along your path. Or if moving the object seems impossible for the moment, what perspective could you choose to take that will help you feel the way you would rather feel about the situation.

In coaching we are trained to always allow the agenda to come from the client. That means you get to decide what we will work on at any given time and the week to week sessions will often consist of "small a agenda" items. But I, as the coach, will always do my best to help keep our eye on the ultimate goal of your "Big A Agenda" and cheer you on to that beautiful brass ring that you ultimately desire.

A coach's job is to ask questions that make you think about your agenda in new ways. Some that may in fact "tick you off" and cause your "inner gremlins" to show themselves. Our "gremlins" or saboteurs are generally the voices in our heads that tell us "all the reasons why that idea or plan won't work" or that "change is bad" or that "we are not capable or do not deserve to follow our bliss". I will work with you and your gremlins as we move forward toward a greater sense of happiness and well being.

The Coach / Client "Designed Alliance"

One of the fundamental principles of the Coach / Client model revolves around the concept that we are on equal planes. It is not a therapist / patient or student / teacher or even Mistress / slave relationship that sets one person on a higher level or plane than the other creating an inequitable exchange of power or status.

It does not assume that I am smarter, more successful or better than you in ANY way. It therefore does not assume that you need to be fixed, nagged or lectured at or ordered to do anything at all that you do not wish to do.

Rather we sit down as two equals that are totally honest and transparent with each other and form an alliance, and it is this alliance that is granted the power to help you make any changes in your own life that YOU feel are right for you to make. Through this alliance we are able to openly explore your dreams and visions, your values and the areas of your life where you would like to effect positive movement.

Building Trust

As with any relationship one of the foundations of it is trust and I believe that there can be no meaningful exchange without a bond of mutual trust between us.

One of the ways I intend to earn and maintain your trust is through my commitment to confidentiality. I will not be telling anyone that you are my client and I will not reveal what we talk about to anyone. I take this very seriously because it is important for me to know that you can feel free to talk about anything that you need to and trust that it will stay between us.

Another way in which we will give power to our alliance is through transparent honesty. This means stating exactly what we want from this relationship and how we need to interact together to make this work well for us both. To accomplish this, in our initial conversation, I will tell you the things I require from you to meet my needs in this relationship and you will tell me as clearly as you can what you desire and need from me.

A few of my requirements and requests are:

That you be completely honest with me. If we are to be able to work together I need to trust that what you tell me is "your truth" as you know it at the depth of your being. "I don't know" may be the truth at any given moment but you can expect and trust that together we will work at digging deeper into the truth beneath that.

I need you to understand that while I am a very compassionate and loving woman. I also will not tolerate anything from you but your best and I will hope that you will ask and require the same from me. If I get the sense you are "bull shitting" me or yourself you can bet I will call you on it. If you make a commitment to me to do a task or "homework" assignment, I will expect that you keep that commitment and I will hold you accountable for your actions.

However, I also ask that if you ever feel that I am "off base" with what I am offering or suggesting to you that you will be honest and tell me so. My intuition is pretty damn good but I am not perfect. If what I am saying or asking you doesn't seem to fit ... say so. I am a "big girl" and please do not be concerned with hurting my feelings. If you are paying for a service then you have the right to expect it to have value in your life.

At the same time, if I ever feel we are delving into an area that is beyond my ability to explore with you comfortably and completely free of judgment then I will tell you so. I want you to feel free to talk to me about anything and my own varied and unique personal experience has afforded me the opportunity to become familiar with many unusual and unique perspectives, desires and lifestyles. I assure you that there is VERY little that will shock me. <grin>

I ask if you make an appointment with me that you keep it and be on time or do your best to give me some advance notice. I do understand that sometimes "stuff happens" and I promise you the same courtesy because I also respect and value your time.

Wheel of Life

One of the tools we will use to do that is "The Wheel of Life" pictured above. I want you to take a moment to envision that the center of the wheel represents a "0" satisfaction level and that the outer rim represents a "10" or completely happy and satisfied with that area of your life. I would like you to imagine drawing a straight or curved line across each piece of the pie that would indicate how happy you are in that area and then connect the pieces together.

I am sure many of us would find that if our individual pieces were strung together in a wheel.. that it would make for a very bumpy ride. I desire to help you balance or smooth out that ride and help you attain a much greater sense of inner peace and satisfaction.

Finding Balance between "Doing & Being"

There was a time that only busy executives sought out the services of an "Executive Coach" to help them to be more productive at work and increase their corporate bottom lines.

However, in this increasingly fast paced world many of us are finding that the relentless demands of life can be simply overwhelming. Sadly, more and more people are finding that it sometimes seems almost impossible to maintain a balanced life and find a sense of inner peace, fulfillment and happiness in our day to day existence.

I discovered years ago that for the most part, "happy" doesn't just happen, you need to put a bit of planning and effort into it, and then make sure you take time out of all the "planning and efforting" to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor.